College Admission Goals . . . One Marshmallow at a Time

Marshmallows are calling out to me.  Research about marshmallows was referenced in at least eight books I read last year.  It seemed nearly every article, research paper, or book I read about high performing kids mentioned the famous Marshmallow Test.  Plus, let's be honest – you put marshmallows into academic reading and it's going to be appealing.

If you haven’t heard of the Marshmallow Test – it was an experiment by psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University, testing delayed gratification in children during the late 60’s and early 70’s.  A child was offered a choice between an immediate reward (one marshmallow) or the option to wait (delay) for a short period of time while the researcher left the room and later returned. If the student waited those 15 minutes, s/he would be given two marshmallows instead of one – double the rewards.  The research team found that those children who could wait longer had better life outcomes including higher scores on standardized exams, higher educational attainment, better health and other positive outcomes.

There are organizations that have successfully adapted the theory behind the Marshmallow Test.  For example, the national college going program, KIPP Academy, has built an entire school culture around this delayed gratification theory.  But what does that mean for parents like us whose kids are not enrolled in a KIPP Academy?   How can we use the marshmallow theory to help increase odds of getting our own children into college?

There are things we can do in 2015 to dramatically improve our kids’ odds.  Let’s focus on the characteristic of self-control or “willpower” to strengthen our children’s ability to delay gratification.  Fortunately, there are simple, no-cost strategies to achieve this goal.  Here are three strategies you can employ to answer the why, how, and when of delayed gratification techniques:

Putting Money in the Bank.  Putting money in the bank is a metaphor to help kids visualize how short-term, specific tasks accumulate as an“investment” toward long-term future goals. In our house, it works like this.  When my kids are engaging in a non-productive activity, or putting off an exercise or homework assignment, I ask them which activity puts money in their bank?  I motion my hand in the direction of my coat pocket to illustrate this visually.  I rhetorically ask, “Which activity puts money in your bank?  What choice will you make right now to positively impact your future?”  I want them to acknowledge how the choices they make today have great influence over tomorrow.  The bottom line is to have them engage in a mental activity to reinforce the connection between making an immediate choice and a long-term payout.  This strategy helps them understand the “why.”

One-On-One Exchange.  For every chunk of time they spend on a designated activity – whether it’s one minute or one hour – they reward themselves with an equivalent amount of time on a different activity they pick.  For example, one hour of chess can be exchanged for one hour of watching their favorite movie.  Or, one hour of reading is equivalent to one hour of playing video games.  Keep in mind, it’s an either/or scenario. The key is to have your kids engage in intellectual growth activities (not cleaning the garage or watching TV!) in exchange for a fun activity.  And, the activity they choose as their “reward” should be non-material – nothing consumer driven that requires a visit to ToysRUs or Game Stop.  This psychological activity is effective because it is both logical and democratic.  Kids understand the rationale and feel empowered to make their own choices.  You set the parameters and they pick how they will reward themselves.  This exercise teaches the “how.”

           

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