Invisible Parents / SOMOS INVISIBLES

By Quetzal Mama • March 20, 2018

Invisible Parents – Somos Invisibles

Copyright Dr. Roxanne Ocampo 2018

When districts or college going organizations ask me to do a presentation for parents, I’m cautiously enthusiastic.  I’m cautious because they sometimes say things like, “We need you to motivate our parents!”  Or, “We need your help getting them involved in their student’s college process.”  Or, my favorite, “We want you to help them understand why college is so important.”  They unabashedly tell me, “I wish they could be like my Asian and Indian parents.  They’re all over their kid’s academic futures.  Too bad they can’t just be more like them.”

These comments are insulting to all Latinx parents who care about their children’s college futures.  This mindset is seriously flawed because it relies on myths and stereotypes.  Yet, it’s difficult to argue with folks when many Latinx parents seem invisible.  They may not show up to Back to School Night, join the PTA or volunteer as “Room Mom” in their kid’s classrooms.  Look closer however, and you’ll realize their invisibility is caused by non-traditional work schedules, lack of childcare, lack of transportation, lack of translators, sense of not belonging and feeling devalued, embarrassed because of these issues, and the list goes on.  These are not excuses.  This is what many Latinx parents are up against.  Their inability to show up doesn’t mean they don’t care, nor does it translate to devaluing of their child’s educational futures.

Sadly, many folks want to blame our parents for our low rates of enrollment in 4-year institutions.  For this reason, I was happy to uncover an interesting phenomenon that refutes this argument. While conducting a Case Study, I identified critical behaviors Latinx parents engaged in, that played a key role in helping their students get to college.  I closely examined parenting habits of 30 high-performing Mexican-American students from Arizona, California, Nevada, and Texas.  All parents were immigrants to the US, Spanish was their first language, they were at or below the poverty level, and they did not receive a formal education beyond middle or high school.  These were not PTA moms.  Yet, 100% of their children somehow navigated their way into the Ivy Leagues and other highly selective campuses.

These parents went unnoticed by those who tend to focus on superficial “evidence” to gage whether or not parents “care.”  Yet, when pressed to explain how these students succeeded, 100% of students said the most impactful factor that led to their success was their parents.  Hmm.  What did these parents do then?  They operated behind the scenes, outside institutional walls, beyond the gaze of teachers, administrators, or other college-going stakeholders.  Ultimately, these undercover ninjas impacted their student’s trajectory to college by supporting them in 5 critical ways:

INVISIBLE Support #1 – Verbal Encouragement & Consejos.  Participant’s parents provided key validation at “pivotal” early moments in their child’s academic career.  These early validation experiences significantly impacted participants’ decision to strive for academic excellence and pursue selective college admission.  Students said their parents communicated to them very early (in multiple ways) that they were smart and destined for college.  They also gave consejos – messages from parents to their students about the value of a college degree.  Above all, these parents served as protective agents – shielding their students from the institutional effects of low teacher and counselor expectations, combating the effects of antisocial messaging, and providing long-term inspiration. 

INVISIBLE Support #2 – Establishing Educational Priorities.  At a very strategic point in their academic careers, their parents did not enroll them in the public high school campus zoned for their residence.  Nearly 50% of these parents figured out how to enroll them in a charter, magnet, college preparatory, or private high school.  They pursued an intra or inter-district transfer, participated in a lottery, or applied for a full scholarship to a private school.  Participants felt their attendance at these college-focused campuses was instrumental in their college-going strategies and success.  Parents also supported students in logistical ways, by allowing them to forego family activities (like church) or eliminating “chores” so that their students could complete important homework assignments, projects, or study for exams.

INVISIBLE Support #3 – Monitoring Homework & Grades.  These parents were not sitting passively, waiting for year-end report cards to determine if their students were succeeding.  Instead, they were “intrusive” agents, constantly monitoring their student’s grades and activities.  One parent had an app on his phone, notifying him any time his son earned a B grade or below.  In addition to monitoring them, these parents demonstrated support by staying up with their kids during final exams.  One student remembered how her mother would stay up with her, often until 4:00am, to simply “be there” for psychological support.  This mom was heavily invested in supporting her daughter’s quest to earn top grades and gain admission to a selective college.  This constant “bird-dogging” by Latinx parents communicated to their students the importance of their education.

INVISIBLE Support #4 – Financial Sacrifices.  Because all of the parents were at or below the poverty level, most would assume they could not help their students financially.  However, these parents placed such a high value on education, they made sacrifices to help their students succeed.  For example, one undocumented student wanted to take a high-level math course at a community college.  He didn’t qualify for in-state tuition due to his status, so his mother took out a loan of $1,600 to get him into the class.  Another parent went without new shoes, clothes, and other basic necessities, so they could afford test prep books.  And yet another parent told his son, “If I have to work a double shift, or three shifts, I’ll do it just as long as you can finish college or a university.”  Although these parents did not have discretionary income for college going matters, they figured out a way through sacrifice and discipline.

INVISIBLE Support #5 – Supporting Extracurricular Activities.  These invisible parents were behind the scenes, orchestrating logistics to ensure their students could participate in programs they felt would help get them to college.  Even though parents worked double shifts, night shifts, and physically demanding jobs, they still found energy to support their students.  For example, one father who didn’t speak English, stepped up to be his daughter’s “Team Dad” for the high school Academic Decathlon team – even throwing them a party to acknowledge their  efforts.  He brought snacks, wore matching t-shirts, and was their strongest cheerleader.  Other parents showed support as the designated “chauffeur,” taking their students to college fairs, or just to the local library.

This Case Study is an example of the ways in which Latinx parents value education, are willing to go above and beyond to support their students and are heavily invested and committed to ensure their student’s access to higher education.  While we may be invisible to institutional “eyes” we are behind the scenes, in kitchens and family rooms at 4am, at Academic Decathlon events, forgoing shoes to buy an ACT test booklet, visiting libraries, and doing everything within our means to help our students succeed.

To view the entire Case Study entitled, “LOS GUERREROS ACADÉMICOS:  30 Academically Invulnerable Mexican-American Students who Forged Their Way into America’s Most Selective Universities,” including findings on parental support, find the link here.