When You Get a Rejection Letter

How a Rejection Might be Your Lucky Break
and You Don’t Know it

2018 Copyright Dr. Roxanne Ocampo

I’m sitting by my laptop, wondering which of my students will get admitted, denied, or waitlisted. After working with the QM Scholars for a year, and with clients throughout the admission cycle, I know how awful a rejection letter can be. I wonder what I could have done differently? Maybe if I spent more time emphasizing one application strategy versus another? Or maybe I should have pushed them to increase their number of service hours. Perhaps a different approach might have flipped the decision outcome? Bottom line: I’ll never know.

Even though I rely on my formulated algorithms, psychometrics, and projection techniques to assess my student’s chances for admission, I can be wrong. If I’m wrong, that means I failed. That means I also got rejected! That means I did everything right, but something went wrong.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about the student in Bakersfield who has begun to internalize her rejection letter. She’s begun to doubt herself in ways she has never done in the past. She’s started to question her intelligence, her sense of belonging, and whether she’s “cut out” for it. Or the student in National City who is beating herself up about “reaching for the stars” and feels her dream college was just a pipe dream. Or the student in El Paso who feels he not only let himself down, but his entire familia. He believed that one college would have been the golden ticket to change his family’s financial future.

For Latinx students, our admission is not just about us— it’s about our comunidad. It’s about rising up our younger siblings, repaying abuela for her support, inspiring our peers, validating our parent’s sacrifices throughout our educational careers, and defying stereotypes. Yeah, all of that. A rejection letter makes us feel we’ve let everyone down.

I wish I could personally jump into the living rooms of Latinx students across the US and give them a big hug. And their families. And their abuelos. Tell them – yes, you are that smart. Yes, you have what it takes. Yes, you belong in college. We need you. I wish they could see what I could see – that a rejection letter is not the end of the world. That sometimes a rejection might be the necessary flame that ignites their future success. That sometimes things that seem like catastrophes turn out to be a genius stroke of luck that will change their lives for the better. But instead, I’ll share a few examples of exceptional human beings who were “rejected” from their dream colleges and went on to do some incredible stuff in the world.

Ever heard of a tall skinny guy from Chicago named Barack Obama? Yeah, that guy. Well, he got rejected from his dream college (Swarthmore) and said it “really broke my heart.” Instead, he enrolled in Occidental College, later transferring to Columbia . . . and later Harvard Law School. That initial rejection didn’t stop him from moving into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Then, there’s the 3-time Academy Award-winning Director, who’s directed hundreds of films and has a net worth of 3.6 billion. But, Steven Spielberg was rejected from his dream college (USC). Instead, he enrolled at CSU Long Beach to study English! His rejection didn’t stop him from becoming an inspiring director/producer and co-founder of Dreamworks.

Can we call it poetic justice, that Tina Fey was rejected by her dream college (Princeton), only to play the role of a Princeton admissions officer in the 2013 movie Admission? Instead, Tina Fey attended University of Virginia where she fell in love with the drama department and crafted her outstanding acting skills.

Which businessman was quoted as saying: “a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end, it can be an opportunity”? Well, none other than Warren Buffett. He was rejected from Harvard Business School. Yes, Harvard Business School rejected one of the most successful business persons in the world. As the third wealthiest person in the world, his net worth today is valued at $87.5 billion!

I can go on and on. I’m not trying to pretend I know how you feel. And, I don’t presume to have the ultimate knowledge on how to deal with rejection. What I want to tell you is that a single rejection letter (heck, even a dozen!) does not define your worth. You’re the same student who optimistically sat down and wrote inspirational essays. You’re the same student who confidently asked teachers to write letters of recommendation. You’re the same student who worked her tail off to get a 3.75 GPA. You’re the same student who stayed up late doing ACT practice drills.

Don’t start questioning your worth now because you were denied admission. You clearly have what it takes to succeed. The fact you were in the running for a spot at a top tier colleges is what it’s all about. Now take that truth and focus on how you’re going to nail 4 years at your future undergrad campus. We need you to rock your undergraduate career to become part of the 11% of Latinx students nationwide with a 4-year college degree. We need you. Do it!

—Quetzal Mama

PS: If you have are currently on a Waitlist and want to get off that list and admitted. Read my tips here!

Posted March 24th, 2018 by Quetzal Mama

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Quetzal Mama is a national resource for students and families from historically underrepresented groups seeking exceptional college advisement and support. We provide coaching programs, college boot camps, award-winning books, a popular blog, workshops and webinars, and a host of free services to get students into the BEST colleges.